Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential (introduction)
Book Notes Wednesday - Introduction to the book "Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential"
Hello Friend, it’s Wednesday, so we are looking at the emotional lives of Kids Who Love Math.
I will start this new series with a book that’s been recommended to me by tons of parents and “gifted” teachers regarding working with kids who are advanced in one (or more) academic areas.
The book I’ll be sharing my notes on for the next couple of Wednesdays is
Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential
The authors
The two authors are Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., a child and family clinical psychologist in Princeton, New Jersey. She is the author or coauthor of several books on children's feelings and friendships, and Mark S. Lowenthal, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who has helped many children, teens, and their families for over two decades.
Why they wrote the book
In a five question-and-answer session with Amazon (which you can find here if you scroll down the page), the authors said the following:
Amazon: Why did you write a book about smart kids?
Kennedy-Moore & Lowenthal: It’s ironic that the children (and adults) who are most frightened about not being good enough are often the most capable. These children may become extremely anxious before tests--even though they’re very competent academically. They may spend way too much time on assignments or refuse to do anything where they aren’t instantly successful. They may also pick apart their social performance--“I shouldn’t have said that. She’ll be mad at me.” To the outside world, these kids may seem confident, but their parents often see the other side: their stress, suffering, and even emotional melt-downs.
The world tells bright children that their performance matters; they need us, their parents, to tell them that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments. They need to know that we love them for their kindness, curiosity, imagination, determination, and sense of fun. Qualities like these aren’t necessarily impressive, but they matter deeply.
The back cover of the book
It takes more than school smarts to create a fulfilling life. In fact, many bright children face special challenges:
Some are driven by perfectionism;
Some are afraid of effort, because they're used to instant success;
Some routinely butt heads with authority figures;
Some struggle to get along with their peers;
Some are outwardly successful but just don't feel good about themselves.
This practical and compassionate book explains the reasons behind these struggles and offers parents do-able strategies to help children cope with feelings, embrace learning, and build satisfying relationships. Drawing from research as well as the authors’ clinical experience, it focuses on the essential skills children need to make the most of their abilities and become capable, confident, and caring people.
The Table of Contents
Note to the Reader ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction: Rethinking Potential 1
1 Tempering Perfectionism: What Is “Good Enough”? 10
Michael: Focusing on flaws 13
Kirsten: Deflecting blame 20
Sam: Avoiding activities at which he doesn’t excel 30
Angela: Feeling inadequate 33
2 Building Connection: How Does Your Child Reach Out to Others? 43
Andrew: Seeking an audience rather than a friend 48
Clay: Avoiding joining the group 55
Amalia: Feeling rejected by peers 63
3 Managing Sensitivity: How Does Your Child Handle Criticism, Conflict, and Disappointment? 80
Mario: Perceiving betrayal 83
Jessica: Balking at constructive feedback 90
Samir: Chafing at a change of plans 97
Collin: Shouldering the world’s woes 109
4 Handling Cooperation and Competition: How Does Your Child Fit in a Group? 118
Steven: Insisting on his way 121
Anita: Being a sore loser 130
Misha: Fearing competition 138
Craig: Dealing with competition in the family 146
5 Dealing with Authority: How Does Your Child Respond to Those in Charge? 161
Lisa: Being blind to authority 164
Nicholas: Making everything an argument 177
Stephanie: Fretting about adults’ anger 192
6 Developing Motivation: What Matters to Your Child? 200
Ethan: Avoiding schoolwork 203
Jared: Complaining that schoolwork is boring 208
Diane: Not applying herself in school 221
7 Finding Joy: What Makes Your Child Feel Happy? 238
Monica: Finding fault instead of fun 242
Conner: Searching for personal meaning 251
Conclusion: The Pressure to Perform Versus the Power to Grow 272
Selected References and Recommended Reading 277
About the Authors 291
Index 293
Our plan for the next week
I’ve started reading the book, taking notes, and jotting down my thoughts as I’ve been going along. Next week, I’ll share the Chapter one notes and thoughts with you.
Where you can find the book to buy it or to look at the reviews
Book group?
A few of you asked about starting a book group to discuss resources. If you are interested, let me know.
So stay tuned!
That’s all for today :) For more Kids Who Love Math treats, check out our archives.
Stay Mathy!
All the best,
Sebastian Gutierrez